Alcohol-lick-me Project

Today is my first day back on the HCG diet. My first run-through was about a year ago and I was able to lose about 40 lbs. Although I am not as heavy as I was a year ago I would still like to lose another 40 lbs. So today I weighed myself, in the morning, and the scale read 258.4. Ouch! Over the next week I am excited to see that number slowly decrease.
I think it is important to also mention that the diet requires about a 500 calorie a day allotment. So I eat very little and get unusually tired towards the end of the day but it will all be worth it, in the end.

Project “Alcohol-lick-me” has also begun (pronounced: Alcohol-lick-me). In the last post I mentioned having people point out some of your flaws… well, after having a few close friends point out my inability to control my intake of alcohol I decided to cut it out for at least a month.
Limiting my alcohol consumption to nothing is not as tough as I thought. I have been out with the boys a few times and I still had fun. Edgar and Bryn both got sloshed the other night, on a Tuesday, and I found it hilarious to be the sober one.
I can’t help but to feel proud of myself. To be honest, I didn’t think it was going to be this easy. I also wish that Marcos would believe that I haven’t been drinking. Last night I told him about the progress of the “Alcohol-lick-me” project and he snickered and brushed it off… said that he didn’t believe me. Sad…

Anyhoo, I am working on myself. Diet, check. Alcohol-lick-me, check-check. Workouts, check-plus!

One of my favorite things

There's nothing better than waking up next to the person you love. Having said that, cliche images come to mind of a room filled with the soft glow of light from the rising sun, the faint sounds of birds singing atop dew-laden tree tops somewhere in the distance... but that's not what I'm talking about.

I love the fact that when you wake up he is next to you, perfectly imperfect, lost in a deep slumber without guard and worrying about nothing.

Seeing Marcos in the morning is one of the greatest way to start my day.

Today should be a fun day. We plan to take a trip up to Oside to visit the family. After a long week, spending some time at home with My Habibi and my family sounds like a perfect remedy to the havoc of the daily grind.

Wake up call

It’s hard enough to realize your own faults / weaknesses / character flaws, let alone have other people point them out. Since last weekend certain events have catapulted me to seriously consider the path that I am on and the path that I would like to be traveling.

Throughout the past 29 years of my life, I feel that I have had to constantly renew myself. With each new or improved self, I’ve been able to retain the things that worked as well as cast to the wayside things that needed to change.

For example, the transition from being a fully active Mormon: retaining from sex, drugs and alcohol, all things unwholesome (not saying I was a saint but I most definitely was in a different mindset) to colliding, head-on, with a world completely the opposite has taken its toll. I took everything that I was (as a member of the LDS church) and cast it away as though it were a piece of rank meat. I wanted nothing to do with it. It had become unsavory to me and anything that would remind me, made me cringe.
The nightlife became a sort of refuge, a place to forget what I left behind knowing that I would never be able to return. For about three years now I have been lost in this electric wilderness where beckoning lights, embracing beats, and mischievous drinks happily take your hand and guide you on the path of forgetfulness. Blindly wondering through the ruse of Happy-hours and Go-go boys, I was blindsided by reality… like a fuckin’ truck straight out of a Hole!
Like anyone who’s wandered off on some random thought or daydream, as soon as I realized where I was I thought ‘What the fuck? How did I get here?’.

Now, as the beginning of another reinvention ensues I am starting to take inventory of the things I have learned and must retain, while also identifying what needs to be left behind. There is too much at stake to continue wading in the gilded nightlife and realize the true worth of what stands in front of me… and I look forward to what lay ahead.

My Undying Affection- Marcos

So... a good friend brought to my attention, via Facebook chat, that I hadn't updated this blog since the beginning of the year. Thanks Dean! So here is a quick run-down of the past 7 months.

Not too long after my last post I met Marcos. The way we met wasn't something you would read in a fairytale or hear in some bedtime story. No, our story begins with the ageless ritual of a Sunday fun day.

A popular dive-bar, I guess you could call it, is a place called The Hole. There you can find pitchers of anything you want for $9, hamburgers to die for and a patio full of post-prime gay men looking to waste the last day of the weekend in the San Diego sun. We love going there because of the hamburgers and pitchers.

After the dozens of times I have gone through the Sunday ritual at The Hole, this day would prove to be different. As we were standing in a crowded line waiting for our chance to order a pitcher full of the intoxicating tonic of our choosing, I noticed a cute Latino, in a Charger hat, darting quickly through the crowd with a tiny Asian girl at his side and thought to myself ‘he’s cute’. Thinking nothing of it, I brushed it off and proceeded to order my drink. Vodka tonic with two limes. ;) We found a little spot where one of my friends mentioned that he was going to meet someone… his name was Marcos. A few minutes later I saw the Charger hat again and noticed his coming towards us. Before I knew it he hugged my friend which was followed by an introduction… “This is Marcos”.

At first I wasn’t sure if he was there to see my friend, as a date kind of thing, so I acted as though I wasn’t very interested in him, when in fact, I was. As the night progressed we finally got around to talking and it was over from there. For the past 7 months we have been inseparable. I couldn’t have hoped to find someone who could complement me better.
In all aspects of our relationship, we complement one another. At times he can be a little dramatic and I’m there to calm things down. Partying is currently in the works of being my favorite past-time and he would rather spend time at home.

I am not trying to say that we never have any disagreements because WE DO… even been in a few heated arguments… but nothing seems to be able to stop our love from growing.

The future is something I look forward to, with excitement. Growing, learning and experiencing it all, with him.

Ya Habibi

(My Love)

2000&11

Saying goodbye to 2010 couldn't have come with a bigger sigh of relief.

Although I feel that I could complain for days about what happened over the past year... I've learned a lot. Love and all it's complications was number one on the "learn from this, stupid" list of 2010.
Two years wasted in a relationship that was going no where. One sentence is enough about that two year game.

A couple months in another relationship with an extraordinary gentleman that in the end figured I could be a little more extraordinary. He is and will always be a great man... we have fun when we're together... we are still friends and I will admit, there are definitely small hopes that perhaps one day... nah-

After leaving the league of the extraordinary, bitterness encompassed my thoughts and actions... which began to transform me into something ugly. So, for this new year of '11 the focus has become ME.

Looking back at the past three years, with my struggle to accept myself and dealing with the issues of coming out, finding my new place in this confusing... complicated GAY world... I lost myself, my passions and all of the things that are me. Having realized this I have officially deaned this year as the year of self and I am excited. ;)

New Fatty

As I was on my way to work, yesterday morning, I got a call from Juan saying that my Mom was trying to get hold of me and to call her right away. So, right away I hung up the phone and dialed... My sister (We'll call her Queen) was making her way to the hospital because her water broke. Almost immediately after hanging up the phone I called my boss to let him know that I wasn't going to make it in to work today and I was on my way to Long Beach.

The rest of the day was a LONG waiting game. Queen didn't really go into labor the whole day, there was just the occasional contraction and lack of comfort but nothing like the agonizing screams and distress that you would expect to see, like in the movies. LOL!

We were a little disappointed when my youngest sister (Baby) couldn't be in the room because of precautions due to the Swine Flu. Anyone under the age of 16 is not permitted in the hospital. So, Baby and I spent much of the morning on some uncomfortable benches in the front lobby. We decided to go exploring and ended up all over Long Beach... Downtown, a mall, the Queen Mary... It was really a fun way to kill the time.

When we got back a few hours later the baby still hadn't come so we decided to head back home. Later the next morning Queen needed to have a c-section and the new baby was born at 1:30 am at 7lbs 12Oz's. I haven't seen her yet but can't wait to see her later today after work. PICTURES TO FOLLOW!!!

Back in ACTION!

So I know it's been a few months since I have blogged last, but now I am BACK! Here's something to start the blogbugg again...

Once again I am here in the office, alone for lunch. Everyday my options for lunch are: Subway ($5), Henry's ($6 wrap) or the cafe on site which has soups ($2.60). Today I chose soup. They have small dinner rolls for like 30 cents... so I bought one. While I was walking back to the office I dropped the roll and slightly kicked it as I was walking. It rolled for like 10 feet and ended up stopping in the middle of a hall. I ran over to get it and was bummed! Ugh!!! 30 centavos!!! I looked around and no one had seen me drop it (at least I didn't think so) so I quickly snatched it from off the floor and continued on my way... Gross right? But hey, it was great!